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joe royal 12:50 Sat Mar 21
shortest time you have lasted at a job

3 1/2 days hgv driver at Tesco
http://www.vice.com/en_uk/read/getting-myself-mcfired?utm_source=vicefbuk

53 mins 12 seconds this bloke

You lovely people

Joe C 2:27 Sat Mar 21
Re: shortest time you have lasted at a job

Had a six week interview process with Brinks. Turns out they were a right bunch of cunts, so resigned at the end of my second week and left at the end of my third - without a job to go to.

Good decision though, as ended up in the job I'm in now which is great

Pop Robson 2:25 Sat Mar 21
Re: shortest time you have lasted at a job

2 mins

I was a sparks at the time, maintainance job in a factory.

Walked in and thought this is going to be shit and quit.

Takashi Miike 2:25 Sat Mar 21
Re: shortest time you have lasted at a job

bruuuno 2:00 Sat Mar 21

hahaha

dicksie3 2:23 Sat Mar 21
Re: shortest time you have lasted at a job

About 2 months in both shops, I meant to add...

greenie1 2:23 Sat Mar 21
Re: shortest time you have lasted at a job

3 days. Temp job working in a team of 5, went for lunch, came back, 3 of the team and line manager who was training me were made redundant. Never went back the next day.

dicksie3 2:22 Sat Mar 21
Re: shortest time you have lasted at a job

I had a bit of a half-arsed, couldn't give a fuck attitude in my late teens - probably still do now, to be honest - and I was sacked from some garden centre place and WH Smith when I was doing my A-Levels... Didn't even bother to say goodbye or anything and just walked-out before my shifts were over... Chucked my uniforms in the bin... Guess I was a bit of a cunt, to be honest...

Never been dismissed in a proper job though but was made redundant when a small, two bob company I worked for almost went broke and had to get rid of staff...

Bright Eyes 2:03 Sat Mar 21
Re: shortest time you have lasted at a job

3 hours at ICL in Feltham, listened to a bunch of fuckwits moaning all morning, went to lunch and never came back. They tried fucking me over with some kind of security agreement I had signed- pretty much accusing me of being a spy for a competitor. The cunts.

bruuuno 2:00 Sat Mar 21
Re: shortest time you have lasted at a job

Two weeks at a herb and spice factory. Final straw was getting caught wanking in the toilets on my break (foreman stood outside the cubicle listening!?). Then at lunch time same day I feel asleep in a load of boxes and didnt wake up til 4 o'clock, causing the factory to down tools looking for me.

Briano 1:51 Sat Mar 21
Re: shortest time you have lasted at a job

My first agency job when I finished my apprenticeship, I drove all the way to Reading, within 10 minutes a loopy old fucker accused me of nicking his tools when I last worked there. I Tried to explain that I'd not been there before but he was having none of it.

It got a bit heated and I made the decision to walk rather than lamp him

16 minutes

ak37 1:43 Sat Mar 21
Re: shortest time you have lasted at a job

3 hours installing cable tv in Croydon
Shithole

clarky 1:37 Sat Mar 21
Re: shortest time you have lasted at a job

When I first left school I was a proper useless little fucker, all I cared about was getting off my tits, I started a job in a warehouse on a monday, got caught sleeping one off in a cupboard on the tuesday and got booted straight away.
Now I have deal with little twats that are exactly like I was, I guess that's my punishment!

Northern Sold 1:13 Sat Mar 21
Re: shortest time you have lasted at a job

5 days car valetting in the height of summer (1990)... just wasn't for me

chim chim cha boo 1:11 Sat Mar 21
Re: shortest time you have lasted at a job

I always remember when I was a little kid my dad (who was a great driver, a bit of a wrong 'un and had zero qualifications like a lot of East End dads) went for a job as a hearse driver for a funeral directors in Well St in Hackney.

I remember him coming home after about an hour in the job as white as a sheet. 'What's wrong dad?' I asked (I must have been about 8 years old). 'Fuck that for a game of soldiers' he said and never ever said a word about it ever again.

It must have been great back then when it was so easy to get a job. You could get a job in the morning, fuck it off by lunchtime and just start another new job the day after that until you found one you liked. They all paid pretty well too and you could bring 3 kids up on the wages.

Almost unbelievable now.

LAD 1:08 Sat Mar 21
Re: shortest time you have lasted at a job

3 months.

Tommy Dickfingers 1:02 Sat Mar 21
Re: shortest time you have lasted at a job

11 days at the old Cranbrook pub in Ilford

Full old micks watching a Man U game when she left. Half hour later an hen party turns up and buys me a drink with every round

Come midnight was so wankered I was serving drinks for fuck all, told the doormen to fuck off and got into a fight with a bloke because I made a joke about raping his girlfriend

ted fenton 1:02 Sat Mar 21
Re: shortest time you have lasted at a job

1 hour

True.

peroni 12:55 Sat Mar 21
Re: shortest time you have lasted at a job

1 night in a kebab(pita) shop in Moraitika, Corfu in 1989.

Far Cough 12:53 Sat Mar 21
Re: shortest time you have lasted at a job

Been in and out in less than an hour in one place

Billy Blagg 12:52 Sat Mar 21
Re: shortest time you have lasted at a job

3 hours. Walked out of my last permanent job at lunchtime after starting at 9am on the Monday. I got a contract at a leading City institution by 5pm and had my own business by the Wednesday. Been working for myself ever since. Best decision I ever made.